Which kind of candy are you?
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Sounds about right. Although anyone who claims to be a friend would heartily disagree with the “you prefer to keep feelings bottled up inside” part. Ha. Hardly. In fact, I talk about things as a way of working out how I feel (call it venting if you like), and I’m afraid sometimes that maybe I share a little too much. Of course, when I’m upset or angry, I’m going to put a negative spin on things. When I’m feeling hurt or sad, I’m going to portray myself as the one that needs sympathy and support, whether consciously or not. Then, once I feel confident and cared about as a result of spilling my guts, I can go back and look at a situation from a more neutral point of view. But that’s the part I usually keep to myself. I think my friends then get a little confused when I make decisions that don’t logically flow from the “I’m so mad, I’m so hurt” frame of mind that I have when I initially discuss a problem with them. Then again, my friends know me well enough to understand that this is the process I go through. And they’ve all supported me in all the decisions I’ve made up until this point in my life, so maybe I have nothing to worry about at all.

My birthday’s coming up, and I feel the need to address my sentiments surrounding this particular day. Not birthdays in general – my birthday, specifically. As I mentioned before, I’ve only ever had one truly fun birthday, and it was when J threw me a surprise party that actually was a complete and total surprise. I guess every year I want to feel special on my birthday, and I never really do. Clearly my expectations are too high. The aging itself is not the issue. In fact, I can’t wait for 26. Finally I get over that 25 hump, which seems to be the age at which those in my generation stop becoming “young adults” and start just becoming plain old adults. I read something recently that said that 30 is the new 20, and I really feel that way. I look at what our parents’ generation was doing at this age, and my god, there is no way in hell I could be married with three children and a house right now. I’m just figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life. There’s no way I could be providing for a family right now – I can’t even provide for myself!

Hopefully this year will be a good year for my birthday. It’s on a Friday, which makes celebrating a little easier, plus we have a built-in party, what with the Harpoon Brewstock, so hopefully that will bring a lot of people out (and even if they’re not coming for me, I can pretend that they are).

Okay – random observation that’s been eating at me: Last week I was walking through the lobby floor of One Federal (it’s cuts off the corner of the block when I’m walking to work), and I see a guy sitting in the shoe shine chair. He’s wearing deck shoes. Deck shoes, people. The kind you wear on a boat. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Polishing your boat shoes? I’ve been telling myself he was just friends with the guy next to him… The guy with the nice, leather loafers. Man, people are crazy.