2004-09-01 - 5:51 p.m.
Well, it's nice to know that after almost a month of not posting, at least a half a dozen people still check in on me here every day. Things have been a little up and down this last month. Right now they're mostly down. Actually, yeah, not so much up as down for the last four weeks. But since it's the beginning of a new month, and, in six days, the beginning of a new career, I'm going to try to be more faithful to this.The main reason why August sucked so much was schoolwork. It was just an overwhelming amount of readings and assignments -- one after the other after the other after the other. And on and on and on... You get the idea. So needless to say, I was frustrated and stressed out. But, thankfully, it's all over. Yay! And I passed all my classes. Yay again! And I will officially be starting my master's program next Tuesday. Yikes.
The end of August sucked for a whole different reason altogether -- the Relationship reason. As of right now, it's not resolved, and I'm in a very sad place. I'm lonely and I'm hurting, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to fix it. It's a waiting game for me right now, which sucks, because today I found out that after five days of waiting, he's made no progress on his end. So here I am. Still waiting. Still hurting. I fucking hate it. Now it's just starting to make me angry, because I can't even share with him how sad I am; he's just making me wait. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to talk about it. I don't want anyone to pity me, or give me advice, or try to cheer my up, or tell me to end it. I just don't want to be sad anymore, and I don't know how to do that.
