So, I'm ticking the little things off my list, trying to keep myself busy so I don't have to think too much. I cleaned my living room last night for the first time in months. This afternoon I went to get my TB test planted, something I think I was supposed to do months ago. Oh, well. I never claimed I wasn't a procrastinator. And all of my school books are bought and paid for. Maybe I should go out and get some new "school clothes." Ha! I used to love this time of year for two reasons -- new stationery and new school clothes. And the shoes! Oh, the shoes. I never got anything expensive -- we almost always shopped at Marshall's. Anything else would have been a waste of money (and I wonder where my sense of frugality came from...). Those little rituals are some of the things I look back on with a touch of nostalgia, and I can't wait to do them with my own children. Now that I'm going back to school for the first time in five years, maybe I should indulge myself a little bit.

I'm learning all the good cd's to listen to when I'm sad. Right now my personal favorite is Coldplay's A Rush of Blood to the Head . The lyrics are particularly poignant, especially the song Warning Sign:

A warning sign
I missed the good part, then I realised
I started looking and the bubble burst
I started looking for excuses

Come on in
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign

When the truth is, I miss you
Yeah the truth is, that I miss you so

A warning sign
It came back to haunt me, and I realised
That you were an island and I passed you by
And you were an island to discover

Come on in
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign

When the truth is, I miss you
Yeah the truth is, that I miss you so

And I'm tired, I should not have let you go

So I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms
And I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms.