2004-10-08 - 2:03 a.m.
What a wonderful day... Shortly after I posted last night, the Red Sox won. Unfortunately, that means I only got about five hours of sleep before I had to be up to start my day today, but it was totally worth it -- about a third of my class was in the same boat. I sat next to a classmate, Nina, who's in her secnd trimester of pregnancy, dealing with a mild case of preeclampsia (that's pregnancy-related high blood pressure, for all you non-medical people), and we basically chatted all the way through the totally useless lecture we had this morning. It took about an hour for my caffeine to kick in, but she entertained me all the while, bitching about our Patho exam from yesterday (we'll be damned if we don't get this lady fired -- that's how awful it was), and sharing stories and anxieties about our own specific experiences with our clinical work thus far.I can't even begin to express how excited I am to begin my MedSurg rotation. We met one of the patients on the floor tonight, and the interaction with him and his wife was so unbelievably uplifting, despite his acknowledgement that he was going to be there for at least another four weeks... I can't wait to begin to learn from my patients. I've never had such a sense of utter belonging. I can't wait to take on so much more -- I can't wait to start really caring for people in every way I know how -- so much is made of "therapeutic touch" in nursing, but there's so much more to it than that... I want to greet my patients the night before and ask them if they're craving a specific food or beverage (they don't serve D&D in the hospital), and I can't wait to bring it to them the next day. I know how great that would make me feel, should I ever (God forbid) be in their position. I can't wait to give someone a backrub, or interact with the family. I've already received so much validation from so many people who have been in intensive care situations, and I just so much want to be a part of a person's care -- I wish I could start tomorrow. This is what makes my nursing career start to be real. I just want to be there all day long.
I couldn't stop grinning -- couldn't stop talking to my new colleagues -- all night long. I finally know what it is to start to feel like I belong doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I have a feeling I'm going to start losing my weekends to shadowing and volunteering -- and I am SO ok with that. I want to start doing rounds with my dad on Sundays. I want to discuss cases and diagnoses, and start to really understand them from a "nursing" perspective, rather than a medical perspective. I can't even begin to express, as I said before, how excited I am right now. This is what I've been meant to do, from the first I ever even acknowledged what I thought I might want to do with my life. But I'm so glad I took the time to appreciate that this really is what I want to do, because I don't think I ever could have been so happy before. I am so fortunate. SO fortunate. I am so happy with my career right now (I'm so happy, I'm willing to overlook the suckiness of my Pathophysiology class, and that's just HUGE)...
