2006-12-3 - 11:46 p.m.
I know I said I was going to post a lot more than I have, but life kind of got in the way. It has a funny way of doing that. I'm posting tonight because I just lost a friend, and I'm realizing that I can't let life get in the way of keeping in touch ever again.
All of you who know me know that I spent every Tuesday night down at my local pub playing trivia with my friends. And it just so happened that over the last few years I got to be very good friends with the guy who was the trivia jockey. We would hang out for a little bit before trivia, and he would often stick around afterward for an hour or more, having a beer and telling me about life. In the time I got to know him, he had a baby boy (his first, of three children), he moved from Revere to Tewksbury, he had a heart attack, and we often talked just about life in general, and how we were coping. He talked me through a breakup, and tough times with school, I laughed with him through stressful family issues and new dad worries.
He was 33. His name was Chris. I hung out with him last Tuesday night for over an hour. He died last Thursday. I found out on Friday, I told all of my friends who knew him, we cried together, we went to his wake yesterday, we played trivia in his honor tonight. And I still can't make sense of it. He was just here. His son isn't even a year old. There is no reason why he shouldn't still be here. I'm having a tough time coping, having a tough time making it real in my head. But I also realize it's useless to try to do that -- death has no rhyme or reason. We're here until we're gone, and that's all you get. I just miss him. I miss lots of people, and his death has made me feel other losses more acutely. It would be easier, I think, if some of the people I miss were simply dead, instead of still around, and just out of my life. I think of so many of my old friends -- from college, from old jobs, from so many other places, that I cared about and have lost touch with, and it makes me take stock of my friends, and my relationships, and refocus on what, and whom, is truly important to me. I've held my puppy and NB a little tighter these last few days when we fall asleep at night.
So the news is, I'm still here, even if others aren't. Give thanks for your family, and your friends -- keep them close. Let others know if you love them, say what you need to say -- don't wait.
My younger brother got married on September 26th, and it was amazing. The weekend flew by. The ceremony was beautiful, the reception was fun, and it was great seeing everyone that came out to celebrate. Unfortunately for my brother, he found out just after he got back from his honeymoon that the company that employed him was not the place that he thought it was. And now he's looking for new employment. Kind of a shitty way to start married life, but better to find out early on that your company doesn't respect their employees than to work for an extended period of time to come to the same conclusion. As far as I can see, he's ahead of the 8 ball.
Football's back on, and BC and the Pats both won amazing games this weekend. I've got two more Sox games to go to, and I will gladly, letting my favorite team know that I love them no matter what. It sucks that it looks like there's no way they're making it to the playoffs, but it was a fun summer watching them. And there's always next season!
Classes are going to fly by this semester, I'm sure of it. I was in my Women's Health Theory class this afternoon, and we were going over our schedule, and I couldn't believe how quickly December is going to come up. Before I know it, I'll be graduating and I'll have my master's degree. Crazy! I find it really hard to believe at this point, still, that I'm a third year student. It really feels in some ways like I just started. One week at a time, though. I shouldn't be getting ahead of myself....
Lots going on, I guess. I just finished hiking Mount Washington for the second time in my life, and I'm really proud of myself, especially considering I hadn't been to the gym once since I got my puppy. Yeah. That was last February. Time to turn over a new leaf. Speaking of the puppy, he's fantastic. I went away for a week, and it turns out he had terrible separation anxiety. The grandparents puppysat, and Boo didn't eat for two days after I left. Such a silly boy. And I missed him just as much as he missed me. We've been cuddling ever since I returned last night (aside from my trip to class today, of course). He's full grown now, but acting pretty much like a two-year-old. He's stubborn and recalcitrant, and he challenges every command. But I love him nonetheless. I just need to get a little tougher with the training. We'll see how it goes.
Alright. I'm sleepy, and I've got a long day tomorrow. Just wanted to let you know I'm back, and hopefully it won't be another four or five months until I blog again... :)